You can't go forward until there is closure of an old relationship is the common belief. So is closure a must? My best explanation is, I think it is unique to every individual. Some people never really achieve what is viewed as closure and can still go on to have successful relationships.
Is closure that ah-ha moment when you can let go of the past and have forgiveness? And is it absolutely necessary to be able to date again? Check this out:
A Comparison Between Dating & Relationships
When you are dating there really is no emotional commitment. There might be attraction and nervousness, going on but it's at a pretty minor scale. Dating is like a practice run so there really isn't any closure needed.
When comparing dating to a relationship it's like comparing a ride in a canoe to one on a cruise ship. There is a whole lot more to a relationship especially when you have 100% of your love, your dreams and your future plans involved.
What we find is that with so much invested in a relationship the process of closure comes in the form of getting back and having control of once again our love, our dreams and our outlook of the future. Because until we have command of these things again we will find it very difficult to start the process of a successful future with someone new.
This Is The Frustrating Part
OK, you meet someone else, and they look just the way you like, and they have the sense of humor you like, heck they even have great manners and smell good. What sucks is if you are not in control of your feelings from your last relationship this new one has no chance.
You need to put off any relationship until you are 100 percent alright with your ex not being in your life. Until you feel you are OK with your ex being out of your life stay away from anything that comes close to a relationship.
If you are not yet ready for a relationship does that mean you shouldn't date? No, studies have shown that dating can speed up the act of getting your heart, your hopes and your dreams back.
Getting Back What Is Yours
Here's the deal: when it comes to dating, closure after a breakup isn't a necessity BUT closure is if you want to build a successful relationship. So if lasting relationship after a breakup is what you want, then it is well worth your time to practice some emotional wellness. Otherwise it is not fair to you or the other person, know matter what they smell like.
Is it scary to take back your emotions? Yes. Is it worth the hard work? Yes, as long as you are looking at the big picture. The one where your happiness is involved.
I've seriously got no idea why do i put this video here. But just have a look at it!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9VJ6BVAXKQ
